63: Why reassurance seeking is not free (and what to do instead)
May 8, 2023
In this episode, I share the costs of reassurance seeking, the act of trying to find certainty about your relationship. If you tend to constantly be searching for the perfect piece of advice (even from me!), you’re addicted to the illusion of certainty as a means of feeling safe. Listen to this episode for things you can do instead to re-ignite the spark in your relationship and not dampen it through reassurance-seeking.
Links:
Both Feet In: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course
Patreon - next call May 15: https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach
Wisio: https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach
Apply to work with me 1:1: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/1-on-1-coaching-with-natalie
2:28 Why do we seek assurance when we have relationship anxiety?
7:50 The hidden costs of assurance seeking
12:35 How assurance-seeking can make your partner seem less attractive to you
16:50 The importance of standing on your own two feet in terms of self-trust
20:00 The danger of becoming addicted to certainty
28:30 Healthier alternatives to assurance seeking
33:27 - Your partner is in their own process, they cannot come to your rescue